Being Selfish Can Be Good
Sometimes being selfish is good. Here‘s my story about why that is.
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I’ll start this with a quick story about myself. I grew up being one of the nicest people you could hope to meet. I was kind, considerate and helpful.
As a young child I would feel bad if I didn’t share with my siblings. I was an empathetic child and hated to see people get hurt. Physically or emotionally. All of this is good but I made one mistake. I pretty much always put other people and their needs before my own.
I grew up but my behavior didn’t change. The problem was that I wasn’t a very happy person. I tend to be a bubbly, optimistic individual. Despite this I was regularly choosing other people’s happiness over my own. I was being selfless instead of selfish.
This was a problem because it made me bitter on the inside. I hated that everyone else got their problems solved but mine weren’t. Where was another person like myself to help me?
Listening to this might make me sound like a saint but I’m not claiming that. I had plenty of flaws and foibles. I wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. What matters though is that I was there for people. It didn’t seem like anyone was there for me.
It didn’t help that I was and still am an anxious individual. I hate confrontation and I don’t like disappointing people. Something had to change though. I realized that I was going to stay miserable if I didn’t start putting myself before others.
It was hard. It wasn’t that I’d never said no. I’d just never said no because I didn’t want to do something. Usually it was because I simply couldn’t.
I hated myself at first. I thought I was being selfish. I worried that maybe this selfless part of me was why people liked me. I stuck to the path though. I didn’t stop helping people at all. I didn’t stop being who I was. I still cared about people. Still hated seeing people get hurt.
I just started to prioritize my own mental health. My own desires. My own needs. As time went on it got easier. I don’t feel bad for not dropping everything to help someone when they ask. I may not want to do it or maybe I have something else going on. I stopped making sacrifices for other people…
